Caring Families, Faithful Friendships, Loving Communities

UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan?s message for the International Day of Families, May 2005: ?A strong and supportive family is one of the first lines of defence against HIV/AIDS. Let us re-dedicate ourselves to helping this precious unit play its full part in that mission.?

Archbishop Njongonkulu Ndungane, speaking at a WCRP-HIVAN Forum in Durban on 30 June 2005:

?Faith rebuilds communities by rebuilding families as the best place to rebuild and nurture individuals. Faith rebuilds us by telling us that we matter ? that each one of us is important in an ultimate way. None of us is so bad as to be beyond hope, beyond redemption. All of us have the potential to live significant lives; lives that, even in small ways, can make a difference in the grand scheme of things. ? Sometimes, all that is needed is for people to come together, and those who have more experience to talk honestly about what they have learnt, what worked for them, and what did not. We must promote family values in the wider community. We want adequate maternity provisions, and employment practices that allow for quality family time together. All legislation should be scrutinised for its potential impact on the family, and the wider programme of moral regeneration must prioritise family life. ? Of course, we must uphold sexual morality, but we must do so in a way that does not allow people to be marked out, labelled, judged and ostracised ? whether because of their own HIV infection, or the infection of family members, or anything else. Too often, it is the faithful wives of unfaithful husbands who are most at risk ? and their children, whether infected or affected, also suffer through no fault of their own from belonging to stigmatised families. Yet, abandoned women, widows and orphans ? almost every religious tradition calls upon its followers to give them special care.

Children want love and affirmation from their parents: supportive, honest teaching about the realities of growing up, the choices people face, the consequences decisions bring. They want to learn about emotional changes and how to aspire to the best in relationships, learning how to love and be loved. We all need that. At every age, we need to know what is God?s best in caring families, faithful friendships, loving communities ? and to hold out for the very best that God has to offer in the mutual self-giving of marriage. Because we are worth it; we are created special, and we should have nothing less than His best. When we live like this, then abstinence and faithfulness will be intrinsic parts of the life to which we aspire ? not merely infection-avoidance techniques.?

Reviving the spirit of African thought and values (ubuntu) to support the family unit was the theme of a conference held in October in Durban. Mr Nisbet Taringa from the University of Zimbabwe proposed that Ubuntu be understood and practiced in all African societies, by members of all their cultures, to respond to the modern pressures on human bonds and interactions. His idea of a nation built on human rights is that agreement can be found between different people if all are allowed their voice and given responsibilities as well as respect: ?Let this begin within the family, where relationships of trust and caring begin, not by imposing views on one another, but by sharing, guiding, accepting, and living through them together. All traditions are dynamic, so families of all cultures can use this nurturing structure to help them through modern problems and humanise themselves, each other, and our world.?

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