Men speak out to reject violence against women

At mid-morning on 8 March, a men?s drumming circle began the call to action for a day-long programme, devised by the University of KwaZulu-Natal?s Student Services Division, observing International Women?s Day 2006 and mobilising against gender violence and the widespread abuse of women.

Students gathered in front of the Rick Turner Students? Union building on the Howard College campus to watch young performance artists dramatise issues of violation, victimisation and victory associated with such abuse, and to hear the experiences of key figures in this struggle.? A ?Speaker?s Corner? formed itself after the SRC President Sibu Sibiya gave her talk around women?s vulnerability to physical and emotional harm in daily life, and audience members shared their views.? ??

Later in the day, supporters for the cause marched around the central campus area to raise awareness of the need for social change around respect for women?s rights. Young men and women volunteers distributed red and white ribbons symbolising the intersecting epidemics of HIV/AIDS and sexual violence, along with educational pamphlets on ?date rape?, advice on abuse, and emergency referral details.

The posters and placards spoke for themselves, but male voices from the crowd made the following comments:

?It?s nearly impossible to change the minds of grown men who abuse or who stand by and allow abuse.? We need to teach our children well, that violence against women and rape is an outrage.?

?For the sake of society?s wellbeing, we must appreciate and respect women and their role in the world.? They are undermined by society and this is unjust ? women are equal to men as human beings, and are not just tools for our use.?

?People keep saying that rape is not about sex, it?s about power, but this is wrong. Rape is not a sign of power at all ? it is a perversion of power, and a sign of weakness, a vicious action based on a sense of insecurity in men. Real, strong, secure men do not rape!?

?It is misleading to make this only a women?s issue; all of us should be involved in these conversations.? There are huge cultural dynamics and barriers that are created around gender during early childhood.? Parts of our culture are in flux and it is natural to be concerned about where it will lead, but there are harmful areas of traditional culture that are not shifting and the violence against women is an emergency.?

?The role of the media is critical in changing this reality ? journalists need more skills and sensitivity to improve the standards of media coverage on gender violence and to lead the way in educating people about equal rights.??

?Advertising encourages shocking gender stereotyping of women as sex objects, and it?s time that this was forbidden.? It?s not acceptable to say that ?sex sells?.? That?s blood money, in more ways than one.?

?In our daily newspapers, items about violence against women and girls tend to be hidden in the corners of a page, whereas it should be headlined; also, at institutions of all kinds, it should be made into a big public issue.?

?Although I don?t want to make excuses for rapists and wife-beaters, I think that the media should guard against sensationalising men as always being monsters.? This is not helpful, because we have to go deeper into the lives of both men and women to understand what?s making this brutality part of ?normal life?.? What have the perpetrators? lives been like, especially growing up? Who are they and why do they do this?? Can?t they see how cruel their actions and beliefs are? What influences and events brought them into this place of inhumane behaviour?? Adverts and movies just give them more support for this behaviour.?

?I heard that approval for holding this day?s programme on campus was only granted this week.? Why isn?t this day integrated into the standard University calendar, so that events and activities will be expected, and not need special permission??

Bringing awareness into the household so that ordinary men and women can oppose the gender abuse that occurs all the time and everywhere, Irene Khan, Amnesty International Secretary-General, shared these thoughts in her opinion piece to mark International Women?s Day 2006:

A family counsellor described violence against women in the family:?
??Surviving an abusive relationship is like surviving torture - the future narrows down to getting through the next few hours, the next day.?? The kinds of confinement and regimes of terror that occur behind the closed doors of some homes can be as terrifying and destructive as any torture or ill-treatment in prisons run by repressive regimes.

Family violence affects every country in the world, including even the most developed.? In Sweden, assaults against women have been increasing in recent years, with 22 400 reports filed in 2003. In Spain, the number of women killed by their partner or ex-partner has continued to increase since 2001. In France, a woman is killed by partner every four days. Ironically, it is often women in the richest and poorest strata of society who find it most difficult to escape violence - the poor because they have no means to do it, and the rich because they have too much to lose by it.

And yet, the family is widely perceived as a place of safety and a haven of privacy - and therefore accorded a privileged place in national and international law - despite the fact that for many women and girls, the family can be an extremely dangerous place if state and society fail to protect them from violence at the hands of its members.

International declarations continue to nurture this paradox. On the one hand, they recognise violence against women in the family as a form of gender discrimination and human rights abuse. On the other hand, United Nations documents and treaties repeatedly call for the family to be strengthened as the basic unit of society.

The solution??

For society and the State to create an environment in which women?s human rights are respected and upheld.
For discrimination against women to be stamped out and equality of women to be recognised.

Violence against women is a threat to human security, and its eradication must be given greater priority by all of us - whether as political leaders, police officers, judges, religious and community leaders, family, friends or neighbours.

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