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Generation no-sex
Sharlene Packree. 28 July 2004. Daily News. Republished courtesy of Independent Newspapers (Pty) Ltd.
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Many modern teenagers would never confess to anything as unfashionable as being a virgin, but lately a new breed of young people has started to emerge - young women who are actually proud to be virgins.
This is good news for parents everywhere, and a significant trend considering that abstinence was one of the major themes at this year's International AIDS Conference held in Bangkok recently. Rather than promoting the use of condoms, this year's conference concentrated on encouraging youngsters to abstain from sex altogether.
Now it seems a significant number of local teens have picked up the message and have decided to stay away from sex until they get married. One local lad who is proud of his virginity is Randle Beck, a 21-year-old quantity surveying student from Newlands East.
Says Beck: "It's worth the wait if you consider the possibilities of pregnancy and HIV/AIDS."
Beck believes sex is an important act and should only be practised within a marriage. Does he feel embarrassed about, or does he get any peer pressure because of, his decision?
"I regard it as an honour to stay celibate - especially when you consider the pressure on young people to engage in sex these days."
Beck carries a pledge card in his wallet; the card is inscribed with the words: "Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, those I date and my future mate to be sexually pure until the day I enter marriage." The young man is one of many who belong to a youth movement called True Love Waits, which encourages youths to abstain from sex. Beck heard about the movement through The Durban Institute of Technology, where he is currently a third-year student. He says that many of his friends who are not virgins have also pledged to True Love Waits. "I'm more interested in building my career. Sex can come later on," he says.
Subashini Inderjeeth is another proud virgin. She's a Wits BSc student who reckons that being a virgin at 21 is an "amazing" feat. "I'm proud to be a virgin. I'm also waiting for the right person to come along, someone I can trust." Inderjeeth also believes that being a virgin is not an embarrassment. Says she: "I'm in the prime of my life and want to secure a better future for myself. I don't want to complicate my life with unwanted pregnancy or some sexually transmitted disease."
Inderjeeth says some girls her age are quite content with a matric certificate, a baby and an unemployed boyfriend living off his dad's money, but she wants more out of life.
Any peer pressure from her friends?
"Most of my friends are sexually active, but I don't feel pressured into having sex. They respect my decision to remain a virgin until I'm ready."
Megan van Wyk is a Grade 11 pupil at Ridge Park Girls' High. She says: "I come from a strongly Christian family, and my parents taught me that sex is for when you are married." She says that surrounding herself with positive people at school and at church has motivated her to remain a virgin. She reckons being a virgin is "like investing in your future".
Dr Thilo Moodley-Kunnie, a clinical psychologist and director at the Meyrick Bennett Child Guidance Centre, notes: "There has definitely been a shift in attitude towards pre-marital sex. However, it's hard to say whether this is due to HIV/AIDS education, although it could well be a factor." |
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